Recently I tried Brazilian Jiu Jutsu for the first time. And for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a martial art with grappling where you try to lock up each others limbs in order to get your opponent to submit and tap out. And it can be through arm bars, heel hooks or even choking.


And when you meet your opponent it’s full on body contact, you smell your opponent, you sweat on each other and you put pressure on different parts of your body, sometimes making it very difficult to breathe normally. Doesn’t sound that tempting right? Why would someone put themselves in that kind of situation?


Well I could name all the things why not but I’m not going to. I loved getting choked and submitted. I loved the intensity of the sport. I loved the grueling agony and fight for my own life. I loved exploring my own limits of my body and having another man sitting on top of me.


I know, I know, it seems like I liked this because some homo-erotic thing but no. The thing that I enjoyed the most was being a white belt and trying out something new with a unbiased mind. To spend 2 hours getting fucked up and locked up in different contoritions by someone better than be. To become humbled by someone else who has honed his craft. To suck.


Because you see I rather be a small fish in a big pond than being a big fish in a small pond. I’d rather be surrounded by people better than me than being the best around. I rather be in a position of learning than being someone who (thinks he) knows it all.


To be a beginner at something takes courage, to be brave enough to step into something completely uncharted takes balls. To go into a dojo and get choked the fuck out time and time again is something that a lot of people would pass on doing. Because they don’t want to look bad or risk being seen as a newbie.


But a marathon starts with one step and then the next and the next. Nothing comes easy, and if it does it’s probably not worth having anyways. And in order for you to become great at something you have to suck at it to begin with. We have to embrace the suck, we have to step into that uncharted territory, we need to look anxiety and fear right in the eye and say:
I feel you, I see you, but I’m not going to let you stop me.


So many people don’t even have the guts to step into a new endeavour, a new sport, change their life situation because they are stuck in their own comfort. They know that their full potential isn’t fully expressed but yet they hold themselves back, because of comfort.


What I’ve realised along my journey is that putting yourself out there, failing hard and often creates resilience and a habit of getting back up even though you get knocked down. It makes life more thrilling and when I do new things that I haven’t tried before I become very present and aware of what I’m doing. Because it’s not part of my normal routine.


And through having this mindset I have witnessed that my world has become bigger and given me more opportunities, experiences and also a lot more friends along the way. So you’ll probably find me inside a BJJ dojo again sometime soon.


So how are you holding yourself back, what stops you from trying out that new thing that you’ve been looking after for quite some time now? Come on you know what I’m talking about!

Get after it, and if you need any help in reaching that goal, send me a message and we can work something out.

My friend Oscar who introduced me to BJJ recently did a video talking about the same topic as this article is on, check it out here:


Love, Robin